June 14, 2012

So I have buried myself in work, as if you couldn't tell. I haven't written in almost three months. I basically have not wanted to deal with my feelings or anything else for that matter. I go to work to escape the pain of Tony being gone and it has worked so far. He texts me though and then I remember and feel it all over again. Then I feel bad for thinking about other things instead of him. It's almost like I have taken the love I have for him and locked it into a box so it wouldn't be so painful to have him gone. Now, I just don't know what to do with that.

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My last day as 28...

So, how do I feel? Sad I guess. It's the last birthday in my 20s and I just never expected to be at the point in my life. I mean, I always hoped I would reach this age alive and well, but I never really planned to be this old. I've discovered that there isn't much good about getting older....maybe the money but with that just comes more responsibilities and bills...so that just kinda cancels each other out.

Jaeleigh's First Cheer Performance

http://youtu.be/XtNRAFmEOLk

March 2, 2012

I have been working so much. Tony has been gone for a month now. It's been so hard. Mandie took me out last weekend and we had so much fun - but when I came home, it was back to work. Yesterday when I got to work, there were roses from Tony. I think there are some lilies mixed in because they have made the entire home smell divine. So, I have some new friends at work - Joanna, Meagan and Joyce. I love them! Last Saturday I went to Meagan's bridal party and next weekend we are going to New Orleans for her bachelorette party. I am so excited! Her wedding is March 17th. :-) And, my birthday is March 24th - the big 2-9! Woo hoo - time for botox!

Reunion

Yesterday, someone said, "what a reunion that will be." Now that's all I can think about - and how far away that is. So far away...

This is hard.

I made it through week two at work. Working full time is hard. I love it though. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm off. I'm spending it with Tony. He leaves at 5am on Monday. Nothing else is harder than that. Nothing.

January 9, 2012

Weird weekend - but it was pretty good. Friday night we hit up The Shed. I love that place! It is so yummy!!!!! Saturday we got up and hit the mall and then got home in time to watch the Saints kick some butt. Awesomest. game. ever.

Today was the weird day. I got up at like 2pm, took a shower, ate, then went back to sleep. I slept until like 7pm. I have no idea what that was all about. I think I'm getting sick and maybe my body is trying to fight it. I feel better now. Mama and I went riding around at midnight tonight looking at some houses and then hit up WhatABurger - yumMY! Now, I'm watching Hoarders....and then I'm going to go to bed. I actually have to get up tomorrow and clean my house.

We are leaving for Gatlinburg on Friday!!!


MySpace-Countdown-Clocks

I need to hit the gym...

Tony and I have an appointment tomorrow at Navy Fed to talk about the new mortgage and we are going to decide if we want to continue to pursue the new house or take another year to pay down debts and wait until the market get better.

I am definitely ready to start hitting the gym. I'm eating way too much and I feel nasty and fat. Ugh. I gained 6 pounds over the holidays and I'm so over that. I think tomorrow may be the day that the gym may see my face again! We will see.... :-)

Dear Brenda...

Dear Brenda,
Thinking of you a lot today. I was wondering what crazy New Year's resolutions you would have come up with. You probably would have had me out, walking around the hospital with you by now. It's freezing by the way. You would love it. :-) Well, you would love it for a minute, and then start complaining about it! LOLOL

This morning I burst into tears when I filled up the coffee cup you gave me. You would have told me to stop being so dramatic and get over it, but I'm still working on it! I hope you are having a good day in heaven. :-)

Goodbye 2011...

2011 has been one of the most wonderful years of my life. The year started off with a Gatlinburg trip with my honey. I was very lucky and for many months I got to stay at home with my sweet babies. Jaeleigh turned 8 in June (how crazy is that!), Keaton turned 6 in November, and Luci turned 2 in July. Jaeleigh's behavior also improved so much this year and got off her behavior medications. She also joined Cheerzone in October - beginning her journey to be a professional Saints cheerleader! :-) LOL

In April I got a breast reduction/lift that I so desperately needed. In August, I got to go to California for the first time with Tony and Luci. In October I started teaching at Miller-Motte Technical College - overcoming one of my biggest fears and finding my passion. In November I finally got a tummy tuck - something that I wanted for so many years. In early December, after the swelling went down from my surgery, I reached my goal weight, and for the first time since I began my weight-loss journey in March 2010, I cried.

There were, however; some sad times. My good friend, and long-time boss, Brenda died from cancer only 4 weeks after finding out she was sick. It was a very hard time and the first time I lost someone so close in a long time. I'm still dealing with the loss, however; I know that loss is a part of life, and I'm trying to learn that. I miss her.

Now, as I move forward, I begin 2012 with a heavy heart. In two weeks, Tony and I will go on our yearly trip to Gatlinburg, and then two weeks later, he leaves for Afghanistan. I don't know how to live without him - and I don't want to. But, I will be fine. We are thinking of putting our house on the market and we already have a house picked out to buy - so I have many things to look forward to in 2012. I am currently looking forward to August 2012 when my honey comes home for good.

Great Week!

It's been a pretty great week! I got one drain tube taken out on Tuesday and the other one taken out today. I weighed myself today and I am down to 149. It was the first time I cried. Seriously - the last time I was in the 140s was in high school. My tummy is looking pretty awesome - much better than I expected. I wear this tight thing around my stomach all day and the doctor says it will make my figure more hourglass as I heal. It's amazing! I just ordered a bikini for the first time! I don't know if I'll keep it, but hey - I ordered it! Oh, and I checked my Secret Rewards card tonight on the Victoria Secret website, and surprise --- I won $500! Now I get to buy a ton more cute stuff from Victoria Secret...I'm beyond stoked!

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November Update

This has been one of the fastest months of my life. Seriously - one week ago on Monday I finally had my tummy tuck. I have put it off for months, well years, because of how much pain and time off I would have to take, but with Thanksgiving break, I finally just decided to do it. It's been a rough couple days, but it's been worth it. He took off four pounds of skin! Nasty!!!!!! But, I can't wait to buy a bikini!!

We had Thanksgiving at our house on Thursday. It was a lot of fun. I had to hide my drains under my dress but I didn't care - I got dressed up anything. Food was oh-my-gosh uh-mazingly good and we all ate until we were sick. I took a nap and then me and Savannah left to go Black Friday shopping at 9 p.m. Wow, was that fun. We hit up Michael's, Wal-Mart and Old Navy. We shopping until we dropped - and were broke!

Today Mama, me, Savannah and Wendy went to Shawn's daughter, Megan's baby shower in Louisiana. So much fun! I remember when she was born - seriously! Getting old is so weird! It was so much fun getting out and spending the day together also - no kids! When we got home, Tony, Luci and I hit up Walgreens (all the sales were gone!) and Home Depot where we got a Christmas tree stand. Tomorrow, we are taking the kids to pick out a REAL tree for the first time...so excited!

So tired.

I am so tired. I worked all day and came home and worked and cleaned. I just got Luci to sleep and I am too exhausted to get up and get in the bed. I guess I better since it's almost 2 a.m. and I have to get up at 6 a.m. Sigh... Being a grown-up....sucks - only sometimes though. LOL

I miss Tony. I haven't heard from him since he left. I am trying to keep it together (emotionally) but I feel like the ground has been ripped out from underneath me. I didn't realize how grounded he keeps me. I really miss him.

This sucks...

Does anyone else cleaning excessively when depressed? Well, apparently I do. The cats are driving me crazy. The kids are driving me crazy. Any messes I see around the house are driving me absolutely insane. I finally gave up the cleaning and decided to catch up on some shows. So, currently I am on the most current Private Practice. Good stuff. Tomorrow we going to a pet festival that is being put on by the humane society here in Gulfport, so I am excited about that.

Tony just left...

Tony just left for a field exercise for the next two weeks. I'm super bummed but I tried not to show it. Now I'm finally in bed and thinking about staying here until sometime Sunday. We'll see...

This sucks...

Does anyone else cleaning excessively when depressed? Well, apparently I do. The cats are driving me crazy. The kids are driving me crazy. Any messes I see around the house are driving me absolutely insane. I finally gave up the cleaning and decided to catch up on some shows. So, currently I am on the most current Private Practice. Good stuff. Tomorrow we going to a pet festival that is being put on by the humane society here in Gulfport, so I am excited about that.

Frustrating Class

Rough day in class. One of my students got mad because apparently one of them thinks I am not fully going over the book. This student is not apparently going over the chapters I give them for homework,etc. I got upset and said, "This is college, not high school. I can't hold your hand and make you do your homework." So, she got pissed and walked out of class. I found her later and told her that if she has questions she has to speak up. Ugh. It's frustrating.

Great Weekend

We had a really great weekend. Friday me and Mama headed to Papa's with all three kids. Saturday we got up and met Mandie up and the mall for some shopping, then headed over for Ms. Gabby's first birthday party. She's such a cutie! Then we met Papa and Mama at the Summit Fall Fest for some quality family time. We had fun! We got back to Papa's and took the best nap ever! Then got up and watched tv all night. We then had to get up super early so we would get back to Gulfport before noon to watch the Saints and we made it! I've been cleaning and working on my classes since then. Good times.

October 4, 2011

Tomorrow is the big day! My first class is at 6pm and I am so excited! I am pretty much prepared. I went up the the college yesterday and printed out my syllabus, etc. and that made me feel better. I also found out that I only have seven students! So, I feel MUCH better!!! I thought I was gonna have like 30 people in my classroom and I was totally gonna freak out.

Mama have moved everything in. She is gonna help with the kids so I don't have to put them in after-school care and the baby in daycare. I am so lucky! The kids are thrilled to have her and her cat, Dexter, here. We have been doing a lot of cleaning and rearranging. Jaeleigh and Luci are now sharing a room (a pink, sparkle room).

My Mac crashed last week and I just got it back today. I feel so much better. It was like my hand or leg was missing for a week. It was terrible! I am as attached to my Mac as I am to my iPhone. I love Apple.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Wow it's been a few days since I have written. Thursday I had to go to work and go to a Faculty meeting. It was great. I loved it. I'm sure there will be a day when I get bored with meetings, but I made a couple friends and got a lot of information for class. I'm so excited! Friday I had a fabulous massage then picked up my layaway from TJMaxx, which I was so happy to finally get out. I finally got home and packed and headed to Papa's house.

Saturday we got up and went to Nyla's. I wasn't feeling very good - my throat was sore and then suddenly my stomach and head started hurting. I went to the bathroom and felt faint and got really sweaty. Mama came and got me and put me in the car and we left. I felt so bad for ruining our lunch but I have no idea what happened. I felt a little better in the car but when we got back, I took a long nap and felt much better. Papa is all worried about me because I got sick and my cheek hasn't heeled right from this last peel. It should be heeled by now but it's not. So annoying.

Last night, I forced myself to get up and get dressed and go to the Mexican place to eat with Mandie. It was so good to see her! Then we went and hung out at the Mallard. I got home around 1:30 a.m. and watched Law & Order with Luci until 4a.m. LOL

I just got home (I had to listen to the Saints game on the radio on the drive home) and now I have to start working....ugh

Did I do that?

Exhausted today. My face looks pretty rough so that didn't help my mood. I did wash my hair as soon as I woke up because my color booster I got put on my hair last night is super bright and will be for the next few days, so I have to wash it a lot before the weekend, which I am super excited about! I am going to see Papa on Friday and Saturday night I am going out with Mandie and my lil crew. So excited!

Mama came over around 3 p.m. and I showed her all my books and my scrubs for class. I couldn't find two of the books and you won't believe where I found them....in the recycling box - OUTSIDE. Yeah, I put them there, probably when I lost my mind at some point this week. However, the books are now safe and sound inside the house. :-)

At 4:30 I dropped Jaeleigh off at tumbling practice then ran over to the chiropractor, then raced back to pick her up by 5:30. I picked up Tony and the other kids at home and then we all met Mama at The Shed. I loved it! It was this shack with all this weird stuff everywhere but I loved the food. They even had super cute t-shirts. I'm totally getting one when I get paid!

Now I am watch Mystery Diagnosis and wanting a cookie really bad, but I'm too lazy to get up and get one...maybe I'll get one now....maybe not.

I've been up 21 hours....

I have been up 21 hours! I should be sleeping but I've been posting things on eBay, cleaning the house, working on my class, etc. Fun, fun. I am about to go to sleep...in the next five minutes. Seriously!

Today was a very long day. I got up at 6 a.m., got the kids off to school, got dressed, headed to Slidell & got my chemical peel on my cheek (omg ouch), did a little shopping, then I came home and cleaned, got dressed, headed to work where I filled out a ton of paperwork, then to the gym, then bought dinner, came home, headed to Cheryl's to get my hair done, then finally home...and I've been busy ever since. Tomorrow is a lazy day!

Ok night.

Lazy Monday

Today was one of those lazy days where I didn't do much but bake...but hey - my baking was spot on! My home-made chocolate chip cookies rested for 36 hours in the fridge so when I baked them, they were super good. I also whipped up a peach cobbler for dessert tonight and it was quite yummy also. I also received my fleur de lis birthday painting in the mail this morning. I wanted it back in March for my birthday but we were JUST able to afford it...how sad is that! Oh well, it's gorgeous! I also got both of Luci's two-year-old pictures in the mail. I had to hide them in the closet so the kids don't bend them. Now, I just have to wait for Tony to build the frames for them.

Tomorrow will be a busy day - I have to go get a chemical peel on one cheek - that's a 9 a.m. Then, I have to go into work at 4 p.m. to fill out the new hire paperwork and decorate some bulletin board. I should look great with my burnt face. Oh well.