Hattiesburg Tornado

Yesterday Hattiesburg was hit by a category 4 tornado. No one died - and that in itself is a miracle. But tonight, as I looked over the ruins of the USM campus, tears finally began to stream down my face. I began to remember the years I lived in Hattiesburg with Wayne, when Jaeleigh was first born. I realize I have so many wonderful memories in that town - and on that campus. I was truly shaped into the person I am today because of the time I spent there. And even though the town and campus have evolved and changed so much since then — almost ten years ago - I still feel so connected to it. I feel such loss and pain right now ~ and I just pray for everyone in Hattiesburg to find peace with the situation and rebuild bigger and better than before.

Upset

I walked into work yesterday and there was a going-away party. I did not know about this event. I had received an initial email regarding ideas but I never got anything else regarding what they had decided to do. What really got to me is that everyone knew I had a jewelry party set up for 1pm. I had everything set up and no one ever came. I was so upset and embarrassed.

Too busy...

I cannot even get a spare moment to blog - but I am making myself blog tonight. Work is insane, but being Program Director is fun. I enjoy the work even though it is a lot of work. Tony has been home for a little over a month now, and I think we are doing pretty well. It was rough in the beginning. It was like he was a stranger. We even went through a really difficult week or so, but now, we seem to be doing well. I guess we had to just find each other again. <3 Today was Election Day. :-) Guess we will find out if we will have a new president or the same, bad politics for another 4 years... Keaton turned 7 years old on Sunday... We took him and his little friend to the Southern Promiseland Farm for the day. It was a lot of fun. I can't believe my baby boy is so grown, although today he is pretty pitiful because he is sick. :-( I had to keep Jaeleigh and Keaton home from school. I took them to the doctor and got them on antibiotics so hopefully they will both feel better soon. Tony's mom will be here Saturday! We are so excited!!!

Family Fun Day Success!!

So it's 11:47 p.m. and I just sat down since I got up this morning at 9 a.m. AND - that was after going to sleep at 6 a.m. I was up all night baking and cleaning and stressing about the Family Fun Day at Jones Park today but it turned out great! I am so relieved! I really had a fabulous time. Of course I am pretty sure that I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Although at this moment, I'm running on the fumes of my superwoman flames hahahaha I don't know if that made any sense. I think I'm going to go eat some cake and then crash. Night!

Life has sucked me in...

Sometimes the weeks go by and I do not even notice. I noticed today because I had to write a check and I wrote out the word "August" and almost had a panic attack. How the hell did that happen? When did January turn into August? One minute I was complaining about turning 29, then I was baking cupcakes for Jaeleigh to take to cheer camp to celebrate her 9th birthday and then suddenly I am organizing Luci's third birthday party. My life seems to be going by so fast sometimes that I cannot catch my breath. Drama at work today. No, I can't write about it because I would totally get fired but there is no other way to describe it as drama. Tony did not make Chief. I found out Tuesday. I know I am probably more upset about it than he is but I really wanted it. There is always next year.... I just want him to come home and take care of me. I'm so tired of taking care of myself - and everyone else. I'm so tired.

June 14, 2012

So I have buried myself in work, as if you couldn't tell. I haven't written in almost three months. I basically have not wanted to deal with my feelings or anything else for that matter. I go to work to escape the pain of Tony being gone and it has worked so far. He texts me though and then I remember and feel it all over again. Then I feel bad for thinking about other things instead of him. It's almost like I have taken the love I have for him and locked it into a box so it wouldn't be so painful to have him gone. Now, I just don't know what to do with that.

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My last day as 28...

So, how do I feel? Sad I guess. It's the last birthday in my 20s and I just never expected to be at the point in my life. I mean, I always hoped I would reach this age alive and well, but I never really planned to be this old. I've discovered that there isn't much good about getting older....maybe the money but with that just comes more responsibilities and bills...so that just kinda cancels each other out.

Jaeleigh's First Cheer Performance

http://youtu.be/XtNRAFmEOLk

March 2, 2012

I have been working so much. Tony has been gone for a month now. It's been so hard. Mandie took me out last weekend and we had so much fun - but when I came home, it was back to work. Yesterday when I got to work, there were roses from Tony. I think there are some lilies mixed in because they have made the entire home smell divine. So, I have some new friends at work - Joanna, Meagan and Joyce. I love them! Last Saturday I went to Meagan's bridal party and next weekend we are going to New Orleans for her bachelorette party. I am so excited! Her wedding is March 17th. :-) And, my birthday is March 24th - the big 2-9! Woo hoo - time for botox!

Reunion

Yesterday, someone said, "what a reunion that will be." Now that's all I can think about - and how far away that is. So far away...

This is hard.

I made it through week two at work. Working full time is hard. I love it though. Tomorrow is Friday and I'm off. I'm spending it with Tony. He leaves at 5am on Monday. Nothing else is harder than that. Nothing.

January 9, 2012

Weird weekend - but it was pretty good. Friday night we hit up The Shed. I love that place! It is so yummy!!!!! Saturday we got up and hit the mall and then got home in time to watch the Saints kick some butt. Awesomest. game. ever.

Today was the weird day. I got up at like 2pm, took a shower, ate, then went back to sleep. I slept until like 7pm. I have no idea what that was all about. I think I'm getting sick and maybe my body is trying to fight it. I feel better now. Mama and I went riding around at midnight tonight looking at some houses and then hit up WhatABurger - yumMY! Now, I'm watching Hoarders....and then I'm going to go to bed. I actually have to get up tomorrow and clean my house.

We are leaving for Gatlinburg on Friday!!!


MySpace-Countdown-Clocks

I need to hit the gym...

Tony and I have an appointment tomorrow at Navy Fed to talk about the new mortgage and we are going to decide if we want to continue to pursue the new house or take another year to pay down debts and wait until the market get better.

I am definitely ready to start hitting the gym. I'm eating way too much and I feel nasty and fat. Ugh. I gained 6 pounds over the holidays and I'm so over that. I think tomorrow may be the day that the gym may see my face again! We will see.... :-)

Dear Brenda...

Dear Brenda,
Thinking of you a lot today. I was wondering what crazy New Year's resolutions you would have come up with. You probably would have had me out, walking around the hospital with you by now. It's freezing by the way. You would love it. :-) Well, you would love it for a minute, and then start complaining about it! LOLOL

This morning I burst into tears when I filled up the coffee cup you gave me. You would have told me to stop being so dramatic and get over it, but I'm still working on it! I hope you are having a good day in heaven. :-)

Goodbye 2011...

2011 has been one of the most wonderful years of my life. The year started off with a Gatlinburg trip with my honey. I was very lucky and for many months I got to stay at home with my sweet babies. Jaeleigh turned 8 in June (how crazy is that!), Keaton turned 6 in November, and Luci turned 2 in July. Jaeleigh's behavior also improved so much this year and got off her behavior medications. She also joined Cheerzone in October - beginning her journey to be a professional Saints cheerleader! :-) LOL

In April I got a breast reduction/lift that I so desperately needed. In August, I got to go to California for the first time with Tony and Luci. In October I started teaching at Miller-Motte Technical College - overcoming one of my biggest fears and finding my passion. In November I finally got a tummy tuck - something that I wanted for so many years. In early December, after the swelling went down from my surgery, I reached my goal weight, and for the first time since I began my weight-loss journey in March 2010, I cried.

There were, however; some sad times. My good friend, and long-time boss, Brenda died from cancer only 4 weeks after finding out she was sick. It was a very hard time and the first time I lost someone so close in a long time. I'm still dealing with the loss, however; I know that loss is a part of life, and I'm trying to learn that. I miss her.

Now, as I move forward, I begin 2012 with a heavy heart. In two weeks, Tony and I will go on our yearly trip to Gatlinburg, and then two weeks later, he leaves for Afghanistan. I don't know how to live without him - and I don't want to. But, I will be fine. We are thinking of putting our house on the market and we already have a house picked out to buy - so I have many things to look forward to in 2012. I am currently looking forward to August 2012 when my honey comes home for good.

Great Week!

It's been a pretty great week! I got one drain tube taken out on Tuesday and the other one taken out today. I weighed myself today and I am down to 149. It was the first time I cried. Seriously - the last time I was in the 140s was in high school. My tummy is looking pretty awesome - much better than I expected. I wear this tight thing around my stomach all day and the doctor says it will make my figure more hourglass as I heal. It's amazing! I just ordered a bikini for the first time! I don't know if I'll keep it, but hey - I ordered it! Oh, and I checked my Secret Rewards card tonight on the Victoria Secret website, and surprise --- I won $500! Now I get to buy a ton more cute stuff from Victoria Secret...I'm beyond stoked!

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November Update

This has been one of the fastest months of my life. Seriously - one week ago on Monday I finally had my tummy tuck. I have put it off for months, well years, because of how much pain and time off I would have to take, but with Thanksgiving break, I finally just decided to do it. It's been a rough couple days, but it's been worth it. He took off four pounds of skin! Nasty!!!!!! But, I can't wait to buy a bikini!!

We had Thanksgiving at our house on Thursday. It was a lot of fun. I had to hide my drains under my dress but I didn't care - I got dressed up anything. Food was oh-my-gosh uh-mazingly good and we all ate until we were sick. I took a nap and then me and Savannah left to go Black Friday shopping at 9 p.m. Wow, was that fun. We hit up Michael's, Wal-Mart and Old Navy. We shopping until we dropped - and were broke!

Today Mama, me, Savannah and Wendy went to Shawn's daughter, Megan's baby shower in Louisiana. So much fun! I remember when she was born - seriously! Getting old is so weird! It was so much fun getting out and spending the day together also - no kids! When we got home, Tony, Luci and I hit up Walgreens (all the sales were gone!) and Home Depot where we got a Christmas tree stand. Tomorrow, we are taking the kids to pick out a REAL tree for the first time...so excited!

So tired.

I am so tired. I worked all day and came home and worked and cleaned. I just got Luci to sleep and I am too exhausted to get up and get in the bed. I guess I better since it's almost 2 a.m. and I have to get up at 6 a.m. Sigh... Being a grown-up....sucks - only sometimes though. LOL

I miss Tony. I haven't heard from him since he left. I am trying to keep it together (emotionally) but I feel like the ground has been ripped out from underneath me. I didn't realize how grounded he keeps me. I really miss him.

This sucks...

Does anyone else cleaning excessively when depressed? Well, apparently I do. The cats are driving me crazy. The kids are driving me crazy. Any messes I see around the house are driving me absolutely insane. I finally gave up the cleaning and decided to catch up on some shows. So, currently I am on the most current Private Practice. Good stuff. Tomorrow we going to a pet festival that is being put on by the humane society here in Gulfport, so I am excited about that.

Tony just left...

Tony just left for a field exercise for the next two weeks. I'm super bummed but I tried not to show it. Now I'm finally in bed and thinking about staying here until sometime Sunday. We'll see...

This sucks...

Does anyone else cleaning excessively when depressed? Well, apparently I do. The cats are driving me crazy. The kids are driving me crazy. Any messes I see around the house are driving me absolutely insane. I finally gave up the cleaning and decided to catch up on some shows. So, currently I am on the most current Private Practice. Good stuff. Tomorrow we going to a pet festival that is being put on by the humane society here in Gulfport, so I am excited about that.

Frustrating Class

Rough day in class. One of my students got mad because apparently one of them thinks I am not fully going over the book. This student is not apparently going over the chapters I give them for homework,etc. I got upset and said, "This is college, not high school. I can't hold your hand and make you do your homework." So, she got pissed and walked out of class. I found her later and told her that if she has questions she has to speak up. Ugh. It's frustrating.

Great Weekend

We had a really great weekend. Friday me and Mama headed to Papa's with all three kids. Saturday we got up and met Mandie up and the mall for some shopping, then headed over for Ms. Gabby's first birthday party. She's such a cutie! Then we met Papa and Mama at the Summit Fall Fest for some quality family time. We had fun! We got back to Papa's and took the best nap ever! Then got up and watched tv all night. We then had to get up super early so we would get back to Gulfport before noon to watch the Saints and we made it! I've been cleaning and working on my classes since then. Good times.